Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I’m Not A Sex Therapist - I Don’t Even Play One on TV

Writing erotic romance has never been so interesting, just ask Author Roz Lee! In fact, she's here today to share her answers on a few choice questions she's received since becoming a published erotic romance author. And she also generously offered a surprise giveaway of either her first book in her Lothario series, The Lust Boat or the second in the series, Show Me The Ropes in celebration of her August 1st release of Love Me Twice, the third installment of her Lothario Series!

I'll give the details on how to enter the giveaway after you enjoy a good laugh with Roz! :-)

Roz Lee has been married to her best friend, and high school sweetheart, for over three decades. These days she splits her time between their home in rural New Jersey, and Southern California, where her husband works. Even though she’s lived on both coasts, her heart lies in between, in Texas. A Texan by birth, she can trace her family back to the Republic of Texas. With roots that deep, she says, “You can’t ever really leave.” Roz and her husband have two grown daughters they couldn't be more proud of, and are currently raising a ten-year-old Labrador Retriever, Betty Boop, who isn’t aware of her canine heritage. When Roz isn't writing, she’s reading, or traipsing around the country on one adventure or another. No trip is too small, no tourist trap too cheesy, and no road unworthy of traveling.

Something I never expected when I sold my first erotic romance novel was being viewed as something of a sex expert. Trust me – I am not.  Here are a few of the more frequent questions I get, and my not-worth-the-paper-they’re-printed-on, answers. These, and a credit card, will get you a cup of coffee.

Note – 99.99% of my readers are female, so my answers are geared toward that demographic.

Q – I think I’d like to try some of the things in your book. Have you tried them?

A – I plead the 5th.  How’s that for a non-answer? The truth is, you only asked me that, thinking if I said no you’d have an excuse to not try something new, and if I said yes, somehow I’d be giving you permission to try something, and then you could blame me if you didn’t like it.  FYI – People who write mysteries don’t need to kill someone in order to write about murder. Yeah, I know it’s a snarky answer – deal with it.

Q – Do people really do all those things?

A – That, and so much more. Trust me, I’ve done my research, and this is the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Q- I haven’t been very adventurous. How do I tell my guy I want to try something new?

A –If a man thinks something is going to lead to him getting more sex, he’s all for it. No matter what it is. Only you know your man well enough to decide how to approach him. I don’t suggest ambush level surprises though. Little, naughty surprises like telling him you aren’t wearing any panties, right after the waiter brings dessert, are okay. Just check to make sure the restaurant has a defibrillator handy first.

Q – What if I try something, and I don’t like it?

A –I tried Brussels Sprouts once. I didn’t like them. I haven’t eaten them since.

Q – I’d like to try some toys in the bedroom. How do I tell my guy?

A – Unless he’s a mind reader, you’re going to have to say something.

There are lots of places to buy adult toys. There are many female friendly brick and mortar stores these days. If there is one in your area, ask your guy to go with you to ‘look around’ or casually indicate it might be fun to see what they have. He won’t say no. Trust me on this.

Too shy to walk into a store? Shop online. There are more online stores than you can possible count. Pick one, bring it up on the screen, and invite your guy over to see what you’ve found. “Hey, look at this? I wonder what that would feel like?”  If you see something you both find interesting – order it. Your postman will NOT know. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Q – Should I watch porn with my guy?

A – Not unless it turns you on too. Traditional porn is made for men. Men are visual creatures. Women – not so much. It’s a physical thing, no matter what that group of crazy psychologists say. Men are built to respond to visual cues. Women typically need more to get in the mood. None of the women in those things are actually having the big O. They just sound like they are. (all that moaning and screaming, as well as the body parts sound effects are dubbed in, FYI). This is for the benefit of the men who are their target audience. All that screaming feeds the male need to be the dominant one (usually). Every guy wants to think he can make his woman scream his name. You’re a lucky woman if your guy can.

Porn gives men the idea that women like to be twisted into pretzel shapes, when in fact, we don’t. Most of us couldn’t if our life depended on it. It’s all camera angles, not reality. I look at it the same way I would watching TV with a child. Use it as a teaching opportunity. Point out what isn’t reality, just in case your guy hasn’t caught on yet. Guys are always willing to learn when it comes to sex, especially if they think a good report card is going to lead to more sex for them. Trust me on this.

Watch if you want to, but if you’ve just read a really sexy scene, and it turned you on – hand the book over to your guy – point out the scene, and ask him to read it and tell you what he thinks. Unless he’s dead, he’ll respond. That’s your cue to ask if he’d like to try something similar.

Q – Where do you get your ideas?

A – I read. A lot. I read non-fiction books on sexual issues. I read fiction. I read self-help books. I read blogs and websites dedicated to various lifestyles, kinks, and sexual issues. In short – I research. I take what I learn and try to translate that into something I think women will like to read. So far, it’s working out pretty good for me.

Q – Am I kinky because the stuff I read turns me on?

A –No.

Q – Are you kinky?

A – Only if I sleep wrong. Then I get this wicked kink in the back of my neck. You didn’t really think I was going to answer that, did you?

As promised here are the must-do's to enter Roz's giveaway. ;-) 

CONTEST:
Roz is giving away winner's choice of either Book one of her Lothario series, The Lust Boat or book two, Show Me the Ropes.
TO ENTER: 
Leave a comment for the author on this guest post telling her your favorite question or add one of your own, leave a valid email for contacting purposes and follow Book'in It Reviews with either GFC or NETWORKED BLOGS! And yes, you must be 18 or over!

Catch Roz's Upcoming Release
Book Blurb – 
Sean Callahan came aboard the Lothario to do his brother Ryan a favor, and ended up the man in charge when both Ryan and Richard left the ship with the women they love. The last thing he needs is a complication, and Celeste is definitely a complication. Once upon a time Celeste had been part of his team as well as his lover, but after a disaster of a mission, and the realization that the other member of his team, Drew was in love with her too, she'd disappeared. Now she’s back, and it’s high time she choose.
Some women have all the luck. Celeste just isn't one of them. All the luck she seems to have is the bad kind. How else can you explain ending up on a ship with the two men she's tried to forget for the last five years? Even worse, not a thing has changed. She still loves them both. Leaving them behind only postponed the decision she knows she has to make, and they aren’t helping any. In fact, they’re both doing everything they can to convince her to choose them. But, Celeste isn’t choosing anyone until she understands how their ménage a trios turned into a ménage gone wrong. 


Connect with Roz Lee – 

Roz Lee also offers gorgeous bookmarks and romance trading cards to her readers for her Lothario series! Check them out HERE . Just scroll down and look under each cover for the highlighted words in yellow and enjoy!

Reviews for :
4.5 stars Top Pick Reviews 

4.75 stars Top Pick Review 

Enjoy The Book Trailer

Thank you so much for being here with us today Roz! I haven't laughed so hard in quiet some time! :-)

25 comments:

  1. I had to laugh at some of those! They really do think you are a sex expert! I love learning about new authors to read!
    Amanda Chesshir

    ReplyDelete
  2. Some of those were very funny! They really do think you are a sex expert! I love learning about new authors to read!
    Amanda Chesshir
    booklover11089@aol.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Roz

    You made me smile this morning!! Great Q and A!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love your sassy attitude. Congratulations on the book.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Roz! Great post - I giggled a lot at your answers. Off to tweet this now!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah, thanks Christine! I know who some of you anonymous folks are, and no fair hiding behind assumed names! LOL I'm going to tell the whole world you were reading this!

    Kidding!

    Glad you had a chuckle or two.

    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  7. This was a great Q & A! I laughed out loud. Enjoyed your trailer too, Roz, and look forward to reading the book. Congrats on the release.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have no idea why my comment posted twice!
    Amanda Chesshir

    ReplyDelete
  9. Those questions are too funny! I love it! I've noticed people looking differently at me now that they now I write erotic romance, like I have a far more exciting personal life than they ever believed. LOL Congrats on the release! Love the "Are you kinky?" question and your answer.

    Gabrielle :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fantastic blog, Roz! I get some doozies too. Unfortunately, so does my husband!!! Poor man just looks like a deer in headlights when he's questioned on my career! Love the sense of humor though, and love your books.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You do realize you actually gave some sex advice, don't you...? *G*
    This was hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Loved this and the Q&A made me giggle. I don't have any additional questions. My only comment is that I was a manicurist for a number of years and holding women's hands for an hour every other week means that they tell you everything about their lives. I imagine you get very similar responses from your fans. I'm just going to start calling you Dr. Roz.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Roz,

    I did so enjoy your comments. Do so love your response to "Are you kinky?" question. Hope you don't mind if I borrow it.

    Am so pleased to hear you say you do your research into sexuality--it's such a vast arena to explore with such amazing results when put into practice. Just look at your wonderful books.

    I look foward to reading your books. Just from your fun sassy personality, I know they'll be a great read. If you're ever in NYC let me know, I'd love to have you on my show PLEASURE which is all about sex & relationships.

    Live with passion,

    Doctor Charley
    Clinical Sexologist
    Author: BDSM FOR WRITERS
    BDSM THE NAKED TRUTH

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Roz and Talina!

    I always like the question "Have you done everything in your book?" and I also use the answer "Murder/Suspense authors have never killed anyone - but I like how you think!"

    Great interview and best of luck with all your books!

    tonyakinzer at yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. After reading your intro, for some reason, I had the realization - I'm so glad I'm NOT a sex therapist. It's got to be a lot more fun to make up issues in the bedroom than to resolve them!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Amanda, you are just special, what can I say?
    Robin - Thanks so much for stopping by!
    Gabrielle - Yes, I love those looks too!
    Jennifer - my hubby of nearly 33 years just smiles. He says it keeps them wondering, and that's okay with him.
    Eden - Shhhhh!!! You weren't supposed to notice that!
    Mia - I'm sure being a manicurist is something like being a bartender. Why do people think its okay to tell strangers everything?
    Dr. Charley - I'll be in touch. I'm an hour away!
    Tonya - LOL I know they don't think about what they're asking. I don't really care, I just think its funny.
    Carly - It's a good thing we aren't therapists, we couldn't use any of the good stories we were told! That would be unbearable!
    Thanks to all for stopping by today!

    ReplyDelete
  17. It's so great to see everyone here chatting it up! I have one to add to the question pile!

    Q - "Do you use your husband as a Guinea Pig for your love scenes?"

    A - Wouldn't you like to know!

    I've been asked that one and I have yet to actually publish a book!

    ~Talina

    ReplyDelete
  18. OMG..I loved this interview! Very witty, which is just the kind a gal I am! Book sounds fantastic! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Talina - my hubby tells everyone he is willing and able to assist me in any way! LOL Guys are so easy!

    L.J. - Thanks so much for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  20. LOL! Hahaha, I LOVE the comment "Porn gives men the idea that women like to be twisted into pretzel shapes, when in fact, we don’t".
    Great interview. I have not read your books yet but I am definitely going to. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I laughed so much at the Question: "Do people really do all those things?" Some of the things I have read in books, I really don't think are possible. Great Q & A. Thank you!!

    GFC: Mary Presotn

    marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'd take your advice any day, Roz. ;) Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Carla - Thanks for stopping by!
    Marybelle - Smart woman - some of them aren't! It's difficult to write sex scenes using humans who are limited in their physical abilities. You can only do so much. We only bend in certain ways. This goes back to the pretzel comment that Carla mentioned. I try not to get carried away and have my characters do things that just aren't humanly possible.
    Carol - Ahhh! Aren't you sweet - and naive! LOL Love you anyway!

    Thanks everyone for stopping by today!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Roz,
    I'm late to the party. But great post! I may have to steal some of your answers. Very funny!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thanks for stopping by, Dee J. Steal away!

    ReplyDelete

Sorry I've had to turn on word verification! I hate those darn things as much as you probably do but the bot spammers are eating me alive! We still want to hear from you IF you are a valued reader of BIR. Thank you for taking the time to stop in and enjoy my post!